


pretend

by letfelicitysoar



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 05:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2456408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letfelicitysoar/pseuds/letfelicitysoar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know we're not lovers, but we could pretend."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He turned to his side and felt something warm and hard next to him. It was raining that morning and light rain drops splashed against the building that they had spent the night in, it was Myungsoo’s place and Sungyeol had only ever gone there twice. This was his third time and this was the first time he woke up sleeping next to Myungsoo. He opened his eyes and scanned the bed, wrinkled cotton sheets wrapped around their bodies and Myungsoo’s messy morning hair popping out from under his comforter. Sungyeol blinked wildly at him but before he could even consider sneaking out, Myungsoo groaned in his sleep and then mumbled something about cigarettes.

Last night the two had gotten into a fight about details Sungyeol couldnt even remember anymore. Something about leaving the lid to the peanut butter jar open - he couldn’t recall. It was dark and stormy outside, lightning and thunder ruled the sky and Myungsoo suggested Sungyeol to just stay the night. To Sungyeol that was a bad idea because throughout the entire course of their friendship, he had grown an awkward crush for the younger male. However they had their argument and Sungyeol somehow ended up waking up the next morning in bed naked with Myungsoo. This wasn’t the way he wanted things to be.

Myungsoo had fully woken up and he blinked blearily at Sungyeol before giving him a crooked smile. Sungyeol loved that smile, it sent those special chilling shivers down his spine and he smiled back at him, his gummy smile even brighter than usual. Any awkward morning emotions that Sungyeol thought would be swimming around them never showed up and Myungsoo lazily told him good morning while the two stayed in bed for another hour just staring at each other and giggling like idiots.

It was a Sunday and both males didn’t work that day, so Myungsoo suggested they stay inside since it was still raining, the thunder and lightning gone with the moon. Sungyeol hesitated at first, thought it was a bad idea because he really should be going home now and besides, being alone with Myungsoo and still in bed with him was taking its toll on his heart.

"Just for today, let’s just pretend nothing else matters, okay?"

The words from Myungsoo’s mouth spiraled straight at Sungyeol and he couldn’t just help but agree because he was just going to pretend. Pretend nothing was weird with their current situation, pretend they didn’t just do something last night, pretend he couldn’t possibly go home because of the rain and pretend that the lid to the peanut butter jar was closed. Pretend, Sungyeol liked that word right now.

Sungyeol decided to make the coffee that morning because Myungsoo could never get it just the way he liked it and so that left Myungsoo with making breakfast. After a not so long consultation, Myungsoo opted for the much easier choice and filled two bowls with cereal and milk. Sungyeol couldn’t help but snicker at how simple Myungsoo was being, but he shurgged at Sungyeol with that crooked smile and the older male had to look away and pretend to be busy so that Myungsoo couldn’t see the blush creeping up on his face. When they finished eating and washing the dishes (though they did a lot of bantering and shoving throughout their meal) the two settled on the couch and tried watching a movie. Myungsoo wanted to watch a horror film while Sungyeol preferred a much more comedic one. In the end Myungsoo won because, “my house my rules.” Sungyeol swore the next time they stayed in, it would be at his house and they would eat more than boring old cereal for breakfast and get to watch his choice of film.

"Is that a promise?" Myungsoo asked lazily, eyes scanning over Sungyeol and making him feel completely exposed.

"Only if you want it to be," Sungyeol repelied lamely, directing his attention back to the blood spluttering screen in front of him.

When the film had ended, (Sungyeol was surprised that they actually even watched a majority of it) Myungsoo turned off the television set and pulled Sungyeol into his arms, lightly running fingers into his light brown hair. Sungyeol decided instead of counting how many gentle taps he felt on his head (and how feathery and soft Myungsoo’s fingers felt), he should try to elevate his breathing and not seem so excited about getting touched by Myungsoo. Because even if they hadn’t have done anything last night, Myungsoo touching Sungyeol was a normal thing. The younger male loved skin on skin contact and Sungyeol was just his choice of warm body to latch onto. Another contributing factor to Sungyeol’s unexpected crush on Kim Myungsoo. 

He could feel the warm puff of breaths escape Myungsoo’s lips as they ghosted over his neck, Myungsoo was leaning into Sungyeol, arms wrapped carelessly around his shoulders and torso, fingers dancing in his hair and ankles knocking against his own. Sometimes, Myungsoo could be too much like this. As if he was trying so hard to mold into Sungyeol that the pressure of it all was just too much; too much for Sungyeol to handle and he’d find himself pushing away from Myungsoo. But how could he do that now? Not when they’re both casually dressed in Myungsoo’s old clothes and sitting on Myungsoo’s couch, listening to the rain outside of Myungsoo’s apartment and Sungyeol almost feels like he belongs to Myungsoo here. Almost.

They fall asleep on the couch like that and when Sungyeol wakes up, he can still hear the rain outside and Myungsoo isn’t cuddling next to him. Sungyeol rubs the rest of sleep out of his eyes and finds Myungsoo out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette and the floor is slightly wet and so his feet are wet and the bottom of his sweats are damp and Sungyeol stands besides him and inhales the smoke because something about burning tobacco has always been soothing and calming to him. It reminds him of when he was younger and his father would smoke, it’s a smell that he’s gotten use to and he doesn’t care if secondhand smoke is dangerous, he likes it. Myungsoo’s fringe is a little soaked from the dripping rain coming from the balcony above his, but he doesn’t seem to notice it when he inhales his cigarette then leans in to kiss Sungyeol. It doesn’t even surprise Sungyeol; it feels natural because here in Myungsoo’s apartment on this raining day, the two are just pretending. So Sungyeol pretends that it’s okay for him to kiss back, to feel Myungsoo’s chapped lips against his and to breathe in that smoke. He pretends that Myungsoo feels something when he places a cool hand on the back of his neck and tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Sungyeol pretends that this is what should be normal for him and his best friend.

When they make it back inside, Myungsoo has already removed them both of their shirts (how does he work so fast?) and is running his hands all over Sungyeol’s torso and thumbing his nipples, which makes Sungyeol let out a moan and Myungsoo smiles that crooked smile that drives Sungyeol insane. They keep kissing and it leaves Sungyeol gasping for air whenever they part and Myungsoo enjoys licking his own lips but right now he can’t stop licking Sungyeol’s. Myungsoo doesn’t even bother with the lights when they fumble into the bedroom, because he doesn’t need the light to see Sungyeol, to find Sungyeol and to map out each part of his body; no, all he needs are his two hands and his lips. They fall together on the bed and in a lust filled haze, lose the rest of their clothing and only feel the skin of each other; Sungyeol’s soft pale skin against Myungsoo’s smooth damp skin and it feels so right like this, so much better than pretending. Myungsoo positions them so that he’s laying under Sungyeol, so that he can see Sungyeol’s face and push his hair back and pull his head down for more kissing and Sungyeol always kisses back. 

—-

The next day is a Monday and when Myungsoo wakes up, there is no Sungyeol next to him. No kisses, no gummy smiles, no more pretending. It takes him a while to finally gain the energy to get out of bed and into the shower. He comes out and puts on a nicely pressed suit, fitted and still quite new. It was a gift from Sungyeol. 

Myungsoo goes to work without smoking a single cigarette that morning and when he arrives at work, the first person he sees after exiting the elvator is his boss. Tall, thin, and light brown hair. Those would be the first three things you notice about him, he’s young and has been running the company for over two years since his late father’s passing. Myungsoo fixes his tie because he wants to look nice when he greets his boss, but then he sees a woman walk over; she slides her small hands onto his boss’s shoulder and Myungsoo can see the glint of her expensive engagement ring. She smiles and kisses him, telling him to have a nice day and that she’ll see him when he gets home. Myungsoo only chooses to approach his boss once the woman leaves.

His boss turns and smiles at Myungsoo, gums exposed, “Good morning,” he says.

Myungsoo smiles back and he feels like this is the real pretending.

"Good morning, Sungyeol." 


	2. reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality hits Myungsoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this part two was written many many months after the first one.

It’s Myungsoo’s first day on the job and he’s always been a little afraid of new territory but he eases into it rather quickly once he’s met his co-worker - a boy a year younger than him with chocolate brown hair and milky white skin. His name is Sungjong and he’s fairly sweet, he smiles a lot and his voice is soft, Myungsoo already likes him a lot. Sungjong shows Myungsoo around the office and explains all the little details from the way the coffee machine may break or to the way the ladies on the upper floor might cause a fire from all the cigarettes they smoke.

“There isn’t a smoke room?” Myungsoo asks and he can feel the weight of his own carton of cigarettes in his pocket.

“There is,” Sungjong explains, “But most people just don’t even bother using it.” 

—-

The city is laden with white fog and it always seems to be depressing around here or rather - calm. Myungsoo finds it calming, like a myriad of pianos could go off into a ballad at any moment and it would suffice to the damp weather outside. He likes it a lot and paints several images in his head of getting to kiss Sungjong under light sprays of rain water, but he figures as feminine as Sungjong is, he probably isn’t as gay as Myungsoo is. 

Sungjong is nice though and talks to Myungsoo a lot and Myungsoo likes staring at him because he’s so flawless and beautiful and Myungsoo wishes he could bring his camera to work sometimes to just snap as many photos as he can of Sungjong.

He’s probably already falling for the younger.

—-

The fall of rain soothes Myungsoo as he lazily pours fresh coffee into a cup, the smell makes him wake up a little and the heat that emits from it feels nice against his icey fingers. 

“Is there still some left?” He hears from behind him and Myungsoo realizes that there is another male in the room.

“Yeah,” Myungsoo says and then pours some into a clean mug for the stranger.

Tall, thin, and light brown hair is what Myungsoo first notices.

—-

Myungsoo takes Sungjong out on a date and it ends horribly. Apparently there isn’t any real chemistry and Sungjong suggests they just stay friends and Myungsoo feels a little heartbroken but he doesn’t let it get to him that much.

That night he runs into Sungyeol who’s sitting under a tree and trying to count how many couples pass by. Myungsoo doesn’t know what to do or say but he stops by and asks if something’s wrong and Sungyeol wordlessly smiles at him - gummy and addictive - and tells him that nothing’s wrong and so Myungsoo stays with him all night under the tree and watches the couples pass by with Sungyeol and suddenly he feels like this is what he should have been doing in the first place.

—-

Green is the color of spring and the color Myungsoo can see reflected in Sungyeol’s eyes. Granted, Sungyeol’s eyes are brown and no where close to green but Myungsoo can see the pretty shade in Sungyeol’s eyes whenever the other smiles. It’s so pretty and Myungsoo likes it a lot.

They go out for coffee and talk about books and Myungsoo smokes and Sungyeol watches him and they eat fancy foods and play soccer and Myungsoo takes pictures of Sungyeol and Sungyeol makes jokes for Myungsoo and they just both start to grow closer and closer.

—-

The day Myungsoo meets Sungyeol’s fiance feels like it’s hell.

Her name is Hwayoung and she’s as old as Sungjong and is a rich, pretty girl who smiles softly at Sungyeol and makes little teasing jokes with him in the form of whispers. She’s known Sungyeol since the beginning of time itself and Sungyeol’s a rich kid too, his dad is the CEO of the company Myungsoo works for and that’s how Sungyeol offords to treat Myungsoo to nice lunches. Hwayoung is lovely though, she’s sweet to Myungsoo too and she loves Sungyeol and Myungsoo figures that that’s enough. 

He wonders if Sungyeol loves her just as much. He wonders if Sungyeol will get married to her and start a family with her and be happy.

—-

Sometimes Myungsoo goes over to Sungyeol’s house and they play card games over soju and Myungsoo wishes he could kiss the alcohol right off of Sungyeol’s lips and mark him with his own. Myungsoo wishes he could run his hands over Sungyeol and lick the beauty marks that fill his left side, he wants to dig his fingers into that soft brown hair and burn red marks onto Sungyeol’s nape with his mouth. He squirms in his seat and wishes Sungyeol could be his.

—-

Sungyeol is so endearing to Myungsoo. He’s so perfect and handsome and sincere that Myungsoo can’t help but like him more and more as each day passes. It rains a lot and Myungsoo always seems to forget an umbrella, but Sungyeol is by his side with gummy smiles and car rides home and Myungsoo discovers the perks of being best friends with the CEO’s son. 

He smokes silently in the smoke room which is behind glass walls and the carpet is a light shade of green and Myungsoo inhales and exhales and inhales and exhales. He’s joined by another man who seems unfamiliar but he only bows in his direction and continues smoking. The man is in his late fifties and after a while he says to Myungsoo, “You’re the one who comes to the house.”

Myungsoo is taken by surprise but he finally realizes who this man must be, his boss - Sungyeol’s dad. 

Lee Sungyeol’s father isn’t anything like his son, he’s harsh around the lines and blunt and way too serious but Myungsoo listens to him intently when he starts to speak fondly of his son. He talks about the way that Sungyeol enjoys wasting time when he should be working, how he’s been engaged to Hwayoung since they were children and that right now is the perfect time to finally have a wedding. He tells Myungsoo about the time Sungyeol broke his nose on the pull up bar at home one time and had to go to the hospital and the other time when Sungyeol ran away from home to go volunteer at a preschool when he was supposed to be attending his younger brother’s violin recital. 

“Honestly,” his dad sighs as he takes a long drag from his cigarette, “That kid has no sense of responsibility. I’m a bit worried to leave the place in his hands.”

But Myungsoo offers a smile because he thinks otherwise, “Sungyeol’s a great person. He’ll do wonders.” 

His dad eyes Myungsoo before grunting and then standing to leave, “Take good care of him, will ya?” 

—-

They fall asleep on the couch watching an old western cowboy movie that Myungsoo had rented and Sungyeol’s knee digs into Myungsoo’s thigh, but other than that, it’s a peaceful sleep. It’s raining outside again and it always is. 

Myungsoo can feel Sungyeol’s warm breath on him and he imagines green flickering against Sungyeol’s eyes too. Myungsoo buries his head into Sungyeol’s shoulder and breathes in every scent of him - mint and the sweet scent of Sungyeol himself. Myungsoo isn’t sure if Sungyeol is awake or not, but he couldn’t care less as he snuggles closer and basks in the short moment they get to have together. 

In the morning, they wake up with sore limbs from sleeping on the couch and somehow, Myungsoo finds that he’s been kicked off onto the floor. Sungyeol laughs and his hair is messy and parted funny and Myungsoo imagines brushing it through with his fingers. After they both wash up, Sungyeol gets a call from his mom and he excuses himself immediately to the hospital.

—-

The funeral of Sungyeol’s father is a large one, there’s many people there who look like important business men and there’s also a lot of what seems to be family members there too. Sungyeol’s sitting by his mother in a sleek black suit with his hair combed to the side and Hwayoung is also present. Myungsoo feels like a stranger here because he had only spoken to Sungyeol’s father once and also, he doesn’t really know anyone here either. He sees Sungjong and Howon and Dongwoo, but other than them, he is alone. 

He pays his respects rather quickly and begins to leave when Sungyeol pulls at his sleeve and forces him to sit with him. Myungsoo’s surprised at first because he shouldn’t be sitting up here with the family members, but Sungyeol doesn’t care and everyone else doesn’t either and so for the rest of the funeral he is Sungyeol’s personal armrest.

Sungyeol doesn’t cry at all and it rains and rains and rains outside and when it’s dark and people are returning home, Sungyeol makes Myungsoo wait for him in his room while he drops Hwayoung off at her home. When Sungyeol returns, he clenches his teeth and balls his fists up in the fabric of his black suit and Myungsoo grabs his hand and loosens it before holding it and then Sungyeol lets all the held back tears out.

—-

It seems to be too late for Myungsoo now. Three years in and it’s too late for him to back out. He’s in love with Sungyeol, he already knows he is. He can’t tell what Sungyeol’s thinks of him, but he knows it doesn’t matter. Sungyeol is the CEO now and Myungsoo doesn’t fit into that picture, he never really has. Myungsoo knows how impossible it is for them, because they’re both males and Sungyeol is engaged and has to carry his father’s company on, he has to get married and have a son to do the same for him as well. Sungyeol has to be weighed down by birthright burdens and Myungsoo is just the black speck misplaced onto the white canvas. 

He knows that this is when he has to pretend now. Myungsoo has to pretend to always be Sungyeol’s best friend or nothing.

He wishes he wouldn’t have to, but Myungsoo realizes he wishes for a lot of things that don’t come true.

Pretending is all he has.

**Author's Note:**

> you guys should listen to pretend by all the right moves


End file.
